My Sartorial Forays & Roman's Super-Cape!

Super-Roman and his home-sewn cape.

When I bought my sewing machine last summer, I embarked on a long and perpetually unfinished journey through the many-splendid worlds of sewing and DIY projects.  Looking back, I've been surprisingly prolific.  I say 'surprisingly' because I'm fairly sure that Matt believed I would never make a single thing once I actually bought a sewing machine.  Part of it is that I have an awesome, dedicated craft space in my house.  Another part is that I discovered how easy it is to make everything and anything, including your own patterns, once I actually just gave it a shot.  What have I made?  Well...  

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Brenda's Sartorial Forays 

of the last year

Roman's blanket!

1. I made Roman this cute little travel activity book.  

2. Then I made (no joke) 6 or 7 baby / kid blankets out of fleece, embellished with felt names (see above) and funny figures: several with elephants for my friend Frances' Ella (pictured above), for my friend Gabby's little Isaac, and two for my friend Sandra's twins Sam & Zoe. Oh and I also made one with a scooting ladybug for my friend Monica's new little Anna.  Then I made a twin-size one with a butterfly for Ava and another twin-size one - Roman's - with a giant blast of color and his name in the middle.  They were fun and by the end I was really good at it. :)

3. I made Roman and Ava both a pair of pants from this awesome tutorial, patches on the knees and all. 

4. I've made three different paintbrush holder rolls, inspired by this tutorial.  One for me, one for my mother-in-law and one for my sister's birthday (surprise Carla :D).  I think Carla's definitely turned out best because it was my third and therefore had the advantage of me knowing what my mistakes had been, but I also REALLY love mine because it is made of a fantasmagoric coral-colored Geisha cotton fabric that I think I'll never, ever get sick of.

5. A couple of months back I also finally made the project that started it all (here's the tutorial), the reason I bought my sewing machine: a super-hero cape for Roman.  I labored for quite a while on the colors to choose and the superhero emblem to use, partly because Roman himself is so conflicted on the superheroes he likes.  He thinks Spiderman is mean (probably because he watches the 1950s episodes on Netflix in which he is kind of mean).  He doesn't know who Superman is.  And he's a little unsure about Batman, though generally that tends to be his favorite.  Here lately he was given a Captain America doll, but, like his father, seems to consider him a bit of a wuss

Flying

given his lack of Iron Man-esque super powers.  All this was too much input for me and in the end I decided to make it a Super-Roman cape.  The "R" in all its glory centered on the back.  And despite the fact that it's a double-sided, reversible cape, I left the inside blank and just made it a kick-ass bright, neon green that looks slightly distressed.  Just thought that would be cool to have :)

 Roman is not SUPER into dress-up yet (despite my desperate wish that he was), but I was pleasantly surprised to find that a cape had great appeal to him.  He LOVES running in it.  He likes how it flies behind him and makes pretending to fly all the more credible somehow.  He didn't take it off for days.  He ate in it, wanted to sleep in it, insisted on wearing it to school, and even though he hasn't worn it for a while, I know he still loves it.  You should have heard him bragging about it and how "[his] mommy made it for [him.]"  It kind of melted my heart. :) 

It was a great choice for a simple sewing project.  And I made it big enough that I know he won't outgrow it for several years.  Score.

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So there you have it: my first year's adventures in sewing and the bountiful fruits of my labor. It's really a shame I didn't take pictures of most of this stuff.  Maybe I'll request pics of the sewings in use with the kiddos and update this blog.  Yes, I think I will. :)  And here they come...

Twins Zoe & Sam enjoy their blankets in the garden!

 

Baby Ella and her "Ella"-phant blanket.

My Ava and her Butterfly "car" blanket -
she uses it every day on her way to and from school :)

Little Isaac looking mighty pleased
with his elephant blanket.

Super-Roman!
Don't let his size fool you.

Happy Halloween from Romathor (who also hates candy corn)!

 

Happy Halloween from our little Viking Warrior*!  

There will be much devouring of sweet things and much crashing in a sugar-induced coma afterwards.

Life will be as it should be. :)

So, I'm doing my Halloween post a little early this year mostly because I couldn't wait to share Roman's costume but also because, let's face it, nobody cares about Halloween the day after :)

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Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and also one that I have not been able to celebrate properly for years due to our non-American residence.  Let me tell you, Trick-or-Treating in the balmy Abu Dhabi weather had its perks but it definitely had its shortcomings - for one, Halloween was postponed until the first weekend in November last year due to the death of a Sheikh.  Not my cup of Arabic coffee.  

But it's not just the candy and dressing up that I love.  I love the whole run-up to Halloween with the candy-stashing, the decorating, the pumpkin carving (and of course pumpkin seed roasting!) and generally obsessing over autumnal and spooky things, something in short supply in the Middle East.  Here in New England, though, it really looks and feels spooky at this time of year with crunchy leaves, howling winds, and rustling woods everywhere you look, so it makes Roman's real "conscious" experience of the holiday all the more special.

I have to admit, though, that these days I'm not so involved in what used to be my very favorite part of Halloween: dressing up.  At least, not for myself.  I had so much fun choosing Roman's costume this year and I loved being able to make it myself too now that I have a sewing machine.  Growing up my mom always made our costumes and though I have to admit that sometimes I wished we could go to the store and buy the nice pre-made ones, looking back I see that our costumes were always that much cooler because they were unique.  I get it now and fully intend to inflict the same reality on my children.  I mean, I've had some pretty crazy costumes in my day (A Geisha, Uncle Fester and The London Eye(ball), for example) and I am proud to say that none of them were slinky, sexy or flaunty, and that, in fact, the weird ones weren't imposed on me by an over-imaginative mother - they were entirely my choice and sometimes to my own detriment (yes, someone called me a Condom when I dressed up as Uncle Fester and yes that did scar me). 

Understanding "costumes" and Halloween has been a real epiphany. :)

For the first time this year Roman really gets Halloween.  He is as much if not more of a devotee as me.  Every store we go into the request is loud and clear: "Can we go see the Halloween stuff?"  And then he makes me try on 20 different masks, push the buttons on all the dancing vampires / ghosts / witches and points out all the different kinds and colors of trick-or-treating pumpkins.  The clerks LOVE me.  It's actually really cute but after about the 30th time I started lying and saying that the masks were sleeping because too many people tried them on and they were tired.  So sue me.  The kid is obsessed!  Besides, I don't want him having some freaky preoccupation with the morbid.  On the other hand, I think it has been a serious epiphany for Roman to understand what it means to "dress up" or pretend to be something else.  I think next year will be really cool because I have a feeling he'll have a very definite opinion on what he wants to dress up as, whereas this year the Viking was allowed because he just didn't get it yet.

But sentimental discoveries aside, let's get to the point of Halloween: everyone likes Halloween because of the candy.  No matter how many silly commercials or kids' shows try to tout the idea of "healthy" Halloween snacks, it's just utter BS.  Nobody eats apples on Halloween.  Nobody wants nuts in their bag.  And nobody actually eats the "home-baked oatmeal pumpkin cookies."  I mean, come on, that's just bad!  

So not all Halloween candy is created equal.  We know this.  

And actually just recently Matt and I had a serious discussion regarding a traditional Halloween candy that we find utterly puzzling: Candy Corn.  He doesn't like candy corn.  I HATE candy corn.  Even Roman won't eat it!  In fact, between the two of us, we couldn't think of a single person who actually does like it.  We have started to wonder if it's just one of those old-timey things that people gave out and ate on Halloewen because they didn't have Snickers bars around back then.  Interestingly, the Nick Jr. Moose seems to agree.

Candy Corn nightmares aside, over the many years of relentlessly stalking down every single light-on-pumpkin-out-ghoulish-creature-in-the-corner-house in the neighborhood, I've become a connoisseur of Halloween candy - the good, the bad and the downright ugly.  What makes you smile, what makes you cry, and what makes it worth shoving the little fairy next to you to the ground ninja-style to get into that plastic cauldron first?  Here they are in Top 5 form.

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Brenda's Top 5 Halloween Treats

Because I have no qualms about taking down the little fairy princess if I have to.

5. The Holy Trinity of Halloween Mini-Candy Bars: Snickers, Three Musketeers, and Almond Joy (Milky Way?)

You know you're in a home of generosity when you see these pricey little guys in the treat bowl.  Unless a 1 or 2 piece minimum has been established by your patron, dig in brotha' because chances are the guy next door will have something nasty like Dots or unmarked orange and black taffy things on his plate.  Milky Way is kind of an honorable mention. I prefer Almond Joy but I know that's probably not the norm.

4. BlowPops or Tootsie Pops

I mean the full-size ones and I would take BlowPops over Tootsie any day but would settle for either over DumDums.  Admittedly, I love DumDums (especially the thrill of the mystery DumDum) but you just cannot pass up that sugary bubble gum interior (or the chance to mimick the ridiculous owl who asks how many licks it takes to get to the center :)).

3. SweeTARTS or Smarties

I am a sour-candy fiend.  I could eat sour stuff all day long but on Halloween my choices are limited in that department.  Almost nobody gives out Warheads or Nerds these days (though those are high on the longer list of awesome Halloween candy), so the next best thing, and  all nostalgically-packaged-to-boot are SweeTARTS and Smarties.  I LOVE the crinkly wrapping.  I love that you get to eat them one little coinlet at a time in both cases.  I love that they are sweet but sour.  Ah, I just love them.

2. Hershey's Miniatures

Back in the day I was quick with the eye and the hand in getting the Mr. Goodbar before all the other kids in my trick-or-treating group.  It was a fight for survival.  The Goodbar, the Krackel, or the Dark Chocolate.  Always good, and kept well in the closet stash for the next few months leading up to Christmas.  Besides, am I alone in believing these are literally the perfect size piece of chocolate?  Not too much that you feel like a pig.  Small enough to justify more than one.  Halloween candy in Platonic form, really.

1. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups - The Big Ones.

Nothing sets the Halloweener's heart a-racing like the sight of that bright Orange wrapper.  We all know what it is - the big single-serving Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.  A veritable Holy Grail of candy - something so utterly decadent and wonderful (unless you have peanut allergies) that you almost want to eat it before you get home so you don't have to split the difference with your kid sister (sorry Caaa).  Sure, we all like the little ones wrapped in their golden foil, usually half-smushed by the time you get home, but you really feel like you did your parents proud when you get The Big One.  The combo of peanuts and chocolate is the perfect, sticky, messy Halloween indulgence and my favorite treat of all. :) 

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Happy Trick-or-Treating and Many a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup to You All!

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* For Roman's costume this year I used a grey jogging suit from Wal-Mart as a basis and then sewed the brown vest and boot covers you see from furiously fuzzy remainders I found at Joann's.  I used his rain boots as a pattern for making the boots which have no bottom and a long felt section at the top which folds into the top of the boot, keeping it in place.  Roman has been wearing the boots around the house and in public for well over a month, so I think they are a hit and am considering making other variations including green monster feet :)

Yeti Feet.

Little Roman & A Viking: An Activity Book Crafting Affair

Just in case he loses it.

It's been a while, I know.  My blog is halfway between neglected, forgotten and haunting me.  I actually have so much to post (my picture file is overstuffed with yummy things) but I just don't have the time - and when I do have the time, the last thing I want to do is sit at my barely-surviving laptop so it can die on me halfway through a post.  You know how it goes.

Anyway, I have been busy crafting since we moved to Maine, mainly because I finally bought myself a sewing machine!  This craft actually started before the arrival of the Viking, so it is mostly hand-sewn (read: pain in the...) which gives it all the more value to me.  I did, however, finish the heftier parts (sewing pages together etc.) with my new thread-stitching companion.

I got the idea for this book from MADE - an amazing blog full of all sorts of very cool DIY projects - everything from making kids' clothes to building and stylishly painting your own backyard sandbox (this project is in the works, assuming Matt doesn't bail, which he has threatened to do more than once lately).  Check out her tutorials and you will never be bored again.

Ok, sorry, no....no, no, no, I got the idea for the activity book from At Second Street another very cool "mom who makes amazing stuff" blog.  The tutorial for the activity book is here in case you get inspired by my clearly gifted-crafting and decide to make it yourself.  Not kidding - Roman absolutely loves it.  We took it on the plane ride to Texas a couple of weeks ago and Roman was magically transformed into an angelic little darling, coloring and dressing-up the ride away!  I "manned" the design up a little as well as 2-year-old-izing it; he just doesn't quite get tic-tac-toe yet :)

Anyway, here are some pics of the final outcome.  I am super proud despite the obviously wonky seams and generally embarrassing sewing job.  It gives it character dammit.

This is Little Roman and his limited but stylish wardrobe.  He was a huge hit with Big Roman from the start.  Boys like dolls too!  That's a baseball cap on the top left in case you couldn't tell.  I felt it was wrong not to put the undies on him.

And my computer is being evil again so the remaining two photos are, of course, upside down!  Just use your imagination or turn the screen upside down.  It's super worth it, I promise. :)

This was the tic-tac-toe page in the original book but I made it a number page.  Roman is learning his numbers so this comes in handy and can be made into tic-tac-toe at a later date.

The last page is the easiest one to do and probably the most versatile.  He loves coloring in the little pad and sometimes I carry a couple of sheets of stickers in here too so he can further embellish.

Manitas Calientitas: Homemade Felt Mittens

Hand-made mittens = straight shot of Christmas Spirit

Happy December!

Month of my birth and all-things much-anticipated :) It's officially the holidays now! Thanksgiving is over, and it's time to pull out the Christmas tree and get to real-deal Christmas present hunting.

I spent the better half of my weekend browing etsy.com and cursing strangers who out-bid me for an embossing gun on ebay (I am already in elf-mode when it comes to our Christmas cards, as you can see). I can hardly contain the excitement! And even the inevitable last-minute stuff that will stress me out in a couple of weeks sounds funny right now. :)

I always have ambitious plans to create all sorts of personalized Christmas gifts and favors, and while I usually only get 3/4 of what I want to do done, it's a pursuit I usually love, but this year I saw it as daunting for the first time with the prospect of crafting while having Roman to watch as well.

That's right, I think everyone, including myself, thought (and Matt hoped) I'd given up on my random crafty pursuits of the knitting / haberdashery persuasion once Roman appeared. Happily for most, including me, and sadly for Matt and his fervent desire that I get rid of my piles of yarn and fabric, everyone was wrong.

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The Incredible Shrinking Sweater

After I shrank one of my favorite (and only) wool sweaters last year by putting it in a warm washer cycle, I decided I should do something crafty and wonderful with the resulting midget-felt-sweater. (So yes, apparently wool turns to felt when it is heated and washed.) I only wish I had known sooner all the fun crafty things there are out there to do with these spoils of bad washing! I would have kept the many pieces of wool apparel I've ruined over the years. I mean, yes, you can probably use them as doll clothing, but I like to think there are things that involve a lot more buying of cool gadgets or crafting items, experimenting, procrastinating, and off-the-cuff embroidering, which is basically what almost every single craft project I undertake involves. :D

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Manitas Calientitas: The Gift of Warmth

**SPOILER ALERT: Ava-luna, my newly 1-year-old neice, if you're reading this, you'd better stop before you ruin one of your birthday presents.**

In a vain attempt to distract me in the last 3 weeks of my extended pregnancy my mother brought a fun article she clipped from a magazine on the subject of felt sewing projects. And it included a section on how to make your own felt mittens (along with other interesting items such as a hot water bag cover, an iPod case, and a remove control cosy).

In my world, that is the perfect reason to take those magazine pages, keep them laying around in a pile for approximately 7 months until I had almost driven Matt insane and, coincidentally, the time was exactly right for making some felt mittens for my two favorite midgets: Roman and Ava.

What better to give at the holidays than a gift of warmth? Living in a cold-ish place, I am always reminded how wonderful warm gifts are: warm cookies, hand warmers, muffs, turtleneck neck muffs, scarves, hot sauce, you name it. These mittens will hopefully keep those pretty miniature hands and fingers of my niece and offspring warm all winter long. :)

the magazine cut-outs that started it all

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Handmade Felt Oven Mi--err, Mittens

It took me a while to draw the pattern exactly as I wanted it, and the result looks a little more like an oven-mit than I realized at first. Maybe it's because I made the mittens longer, but since they have no elastic around the wrist, I didn't want to risk unpleasant drafts getting in when worn outside.

personalized warmth....oooh....aaaahhh.....

To personalize the matching mitten sets for Roman and Ava I also embroidered their names and some whimsical girl / boy symbols. Ava got a pretty flower. Roman got a shooting star, and, the one I'm most proud of but probably doesn't show up well on these pictures: a puppy!

I have never really embroidered much by hand, so the names and symbols have a silly, awkward, hand-made quality to them. Here's to hoping Roman and Ava grow to one day see that as infinitely charming.

the adorable finished products, sure to keep all mini-hands extra warm

April tomorrow?! Better get on that knitting.

Say hello to Ludovictus.

Well, it's official: I'm absolutely ready for the baby to come out. A woman can only go have coffee or lunch or whatever with other pregnant women so many times before she starts to have a desperate feeling that the term "lady of leisure" has taken on a whole new and not-so-flattering meaning. That, coupled with an uncontrollable urge to gnaw her own arm off out of boredom, can really make anyone reconsider any impending fear of sleepless nights or painful deliveries.

Luckily, I still have my knitting to cling to. My mom calls me a spider and I think maybe my friends are starting to think the same thing because when I'm not fiendishly crawling around my cave plotting what to eat next, I'm weaving a veritable web of baby clothes.

Here are the most recent additions to the previous collection of 1 (aka the green cardigan):

1. After making my green cardigan, I decided to dig through the proverbial stash and pick something suitable out for a baby boy's scarfling. I then also took the project one step further (I am hardcore) and decided to make the scarf a two-toned ditty (big deal for a beginner knitter) by using up some of the pea green cashmerino I had left over from the cardigan. Here is the finished set:

Don't hate them because they're beautiful.

2. As mentioned in my Childlike Glee post my next project was the Debbie Bliss Shawl-collared jacket. I made this little thing in record time (pregnancy-driven mania will do that to you) and just when I was ready to put on the finishing touches, I realized I had accidentally thrown away the pretty little buttons I bought for it at Peter Jones. I still haven't gone back to get more, so here it is sans buttons. Still pretty darn cute if you ask me.

3. In a last-ditch effort to quell my obsessive contemplation of every movement in my belly, I knitted this number a week ago or so with some Debbie Bliss Cathay yarn I found on sale at Peter Jones. Lovely. And I even had enough left over to start on a pair of socks to match. I'm about 3/4 through the first one and now that I've officially put my gym membership on hold, I think I'll probably finish that and the second off in the next couple of days. :)

L's Dr. Seuss-y hat and soon-to-be matching socks.


* * *

On a somewhat tangentially related note: Matt and I made my top secret chocolate chip cookies with nuts this weekend (which we devoured in record time) and he suggested something I'd dared only contemplate: after making a dozen or so to last us for a couple of days, we froze the remaining cookie dough in pre-portioned balls and plan on Matt throwing them into the oven to bake right before we head to the Birth Center to have the baby.

How happy of a laboring woman am I going to be with warm-out-of-the-oven chocolate chip cookies with nuts in my hands and tummy and there for me to nibble on intermittently during the subsequent madness? Bravo Matteo. :)

Stitch & Bi-otch: Brenda's Pregnancy Rage vs. The Girl at the Yarn Shop

I think I've mentioned before that one day a week I attend a local knitting group, a "stitch & bitch," if you will. It's something to look forward to. And it sure beats getting advice from the knitting videos at youtube.com (which are all kinda freaky sounding) when I can't figure out what I've done to end up with three arms on my sweater.

I especially like my knitting group (despite being the youngest, least experienced, and least knitting obsessed person there) because it is what I would call "low-key." British old ladies tend to be very mild in their manners (even when they're insulting you) and that does excitable, little old me a lot of good. The other perk about the knitting group is that it is held at a local yarn shop. Literally down the street from me, the place is tiny and run by two American women who also tend to be (surprisingly) mellow. Too bad I can't say the same for their staff. Moving on...

I'm not particularly productive at the knitting group; neither is anyone else as far as I can tell. We all get caught up gossiping and chatting and end up having to unravel whatever we've done by the end of the session anyway. But it's good company and good fun. And the conversation topics in and of themselves provide amusement

Common Discussion Topics at the Knitting Group Sessions

some of the few occasions in life when Brenda is actually silent


These really cracked me up.

1. The cafe down the street and its selection for "soup of the day": nobody (except me) at the group likes anything "spicy." The other day there was complaint of "the strange soup with coconut in it" (read: Thai coconut prawn soup - yum!) and why the owner couldn't just keep making that nice "potato and leek" or "broccoli and Stilton" instead.

2. Recent surgeries or health ailments of the present company or other not-present members of the group: someone had a hip surgery recently and we get updated on that in minute detail. Somebody else had a nasty fall and has to go back for an x-ray to make sure her solicitor can get her the correct compensation.

3. The most recent / most exciting Knitting or Yarn or Craft fairs members have been to: people travel literally across the country to go to yarn fairs. I was pretty shocked to hear about this (and the crazy things they will go through to get there - 3 different trains, a walk through a forest in the dead of the night...), but when you listen to how much they know and enjoy them, I guess it isn't really ALL that surprising.

4. The size of one's 'stash' & how much husbands hate them: I guess 'stash' refers to the extra yarn you keep laying around the house in case the occasion strikes you. My stash literally consists of about 6 balls of yarn I have picked up when on sale at Wal-Mart. Last week I learned that one of the ladies at the group knows someone who actually rents a separate garage for her stash. Others regaled me with stories of stuffing parts of their stash into Moroccan Pouffs (like the one in our living room...hmmm) or hidden compartments in their attics to avoid hubby finding the extra fine cashmere they'd splurged on. Oh the cunning!

a lovely Moroccan Pouffe, not unlike ours

5. London's Yarn & Haberdashery establishments & how well they rate compared to each other: There is one lady in the group who can literally tell you the brand, type and colors of almost any yarn available at any yarn or haberdashery shop in London. She also seems to know all the owners, their stories, their partners (in the UK that doesn't necessarily mean you're gay), and why they stock what they stock. She provides a full and supposedly unbiased account of each and how they rate compared to the shop we're presently located at. Makes for fun knitting gossip.

6. Ravelry: Little did I know, but there is a huge, not-so-underground (wool doesn't keep well in the damp) subculture devoted entirely to knitting and crocheting. Ravelry is Facebook for knitters. I have to admit, I actually joined. It's pretty cool but I hardly use it, despite the fact that they are so hardcore that they actually have a waitlist for you to receive your "you can now join ravelry" invitation. People conduct entire lives on this community. The ladies at my group all have at least a couple of blogs they follow devotedly, and discuss the personnages and their projects as if they were intimate friends. Wait, maybe they are?!

* * *

Anyway, last week I went to the knitting group as usual (though I had been absent for a couple of weeks and therefore probably looked more heavily pregnant than previously). As I am planning to start my next knitting project soon, I needed to buy the appropriate knitting needles to go with.

For those of you unfamiliar, the US and the UK use different sizing methods for the needles (surprise, surprise). The US uses a by-number size (1,2,3,4 etc.) and the UK does it by millimeters (1mm, 1.5 mm etc.). This can sometimes cause confusion when said conversation takes place between - ENTIRELY HYPOTHETICALLY - a heavily pregnant, naturally feisty American ex-pat requesting needles and a British Colonial Singaporean Ex-Pat, who seems to fancy herself entirely British due to historical occurrences beyond her control, selling needles.

I said size 8. She said 4mm. I said, sure. She said, great. I paid (after not being allowed to use my Amex card - pet peeve #27,000.39 about the UK) with a tenner and went upstairs to the knitting group where the new packet of needles sat on the table unused and unopened for the duration of the group.

At the end, entirely by chance, I thought - hey, I should get rid of the packaging before putting away my new needles! Because they are nice needles, they come encased in a plastic sheath - a vagina if you will permit me the use of a bizarre Latin word - which is closed only by the barcode sticker. Generally speaking, I would carefully peel the barcode sticker and take my needles out (yes, I am that anal), but I was in somewhat of a rush so I just took my scissors and chopped the top of the sheath off. That's when I looked at the needles carefully for the first time and realized that size 4mm needles are actually size 6 needles in the US, not 8, like I'd requested. Then, in slow motion, I threw my fists to the sky and cursed the Gods, all the while shocking and scaring the nice old ladies around me.

"Oh, just pop downstairs and exchange them," said one of the nice ladies, having regained her composure. It sounded so simple.

Problematic Pregnancy-Rage Filled Encounter
you've been warned

I had the best intentions. Really, I did. Matt will attest to the fact that since being pregnant my patience (which is pathetic at the best, non-pregnant of times) has basically ceased to exist. I go from fine to completely-utterly-incapacitatedly-rage-filled in under two seconds (it used to take at least 2 minutes). Clearly Singaporean-British-wanna-be yarn girl has not had much experience with pregnant ladies because she did not make any effort to tone down her "I'm British and therefore offer you ZERO customer service" attitude, even after seeing the belly and hearing my American accent. Come on, she was just asking for it.

When I nicely (I really was nice at first) explained the situation and asked if we could just exchange the needles as clearly the error had not been mine and she had just misread the size chart, she stared at me, horrified and twitching in an "I made a mistake?!" short-circuit kind of way that only people who are extremely uptight and therefore never imagine they could be wrong do. Then, she basically said "No."

This all happened in under two seconds. Coincidence, really, the timing.

My face turned red. I gripped the needles tightly.

"Well, I'm not paying for another set. I asked for size 8 needles."

"You damaged the packaging. I can't exchange them."

"Can't we just peel the barcode off of the other package and then carefully place this one on it with the needles I have? They have never been used and I used scissors to cut the barcode so it isn't damaged."

*heavy, gruffy sigh / annoyed breathing noise combined with eye-roll from the yarn girl*

*seriously dangerous eyebrow raise from silently-raging pregnant lady*

She walked over to the drawer and pulled out the right needles, still breathing heavily. After trying - half-heartedly, might I add - to pull off the barcode, she suddenly slammed them down in frustration and said "No, we can't do it. It just won't work."

I yanked the needles away and said "Yes, we can. I WILL DO IT."

I then proceeded to replace the barcode and needles and exchange them for the right size ones. All the while, the girl is rolling her eyes, continuing to twitch and breath heavily in an "I can't believe you did this" kind of way.

Correct needles now in hand, in a last-ditch effort to be amenable, I said (and believe me, this took ALL the restraint in the world), "Well, thank you so much for doing this. I appreciate it."

No answer.

"I hope that's ok?"

She looked up at me, angry, "Well I guess it's gonna HAVE to be now isn't it?"

*fireworks - fireworks - fireworks*
(that's the only way I can accurately describe what went on in my brain at this point)

Suddenly alarmed, "I mean, it was my fault for getting the wrong needles."

It's a good thing, a very good thing she added that last mea culpa. I honestly cannot say that I know what I would have done if she hadn't. And because I'm a brat, and pregnant to boot, I would have maintained the entire time that none of it was an overreaction. Ah the perks. :)

* * *

PS: The thing is, she really was wrong. She WAS.



If only she'd used one of these.

Childlike Glee.

That's what I'm currently experiencing for two reasons:

1. Because I just received these little goodies in the mail, which means...

...now I can start on my next project - preciousness "inYARNate" for Ludovictus:

Debbie Bliss' Shawl-Collared Jacket

2. Because my dear friend Nancy the Psychologist-by-day- Knitter-Extraordinaire-by-night surprised me with a beautiful handmade gift for Ludovictus in the mail a couple of days ago!

There's nothing quite like receiving a thoughtful package to rejuvenate your faith in humanity as essentially good. :)

Midge hat and blanket à la Nancy

Oh yeah, Happy 33 Weeks!

Hello, my name is Brenda. I'm 28 years old. And I am a knitter.

My stash.

(Happy 31 weeks!)

It was five years ago on a cold and rainy day in South Bend, Indiana that I decided to get a hobby (apparently studying for a double major while maintaining a long-distance relationship just didn't "challenge" me). Having perused the possibilities and by-passed things like drawing, painting, losing weight and pottery (they all involve having way too much innate ability and generally expensive equipment), I settled on knitting. Not crocheting - that's for old women and sucks - but knitting.

*Start Explanation Regarding my Perceived Suckage of Crocheting*

When I was about 14 or 15 (and yes, in the Girl Scouts), my troop leaders decided it would be a good idea to do a crafty-type badge which included learning to crochet as one of the requirements. The only exposure I'd ever had to crocheting before that was watching my grandmother do it with tiny hooks and tiny thread, which always resulted in the copious amounts of homemade doilies littering the house (tastefully, no doubt). While I was ever-amazed at the dexterity her chubby-old-woman hands displayed while weaving her proverbial web, I was never really taken by the urge to pick the hobby up myself.

Ironically, my leaders decided to teach us to crochet (no t knowing how themselves, I suspect) using the same tiny hooks and tiny thread. At the best of times I could make out a wad of knots. At the worst of times I simply had to start snipping randomly with scissors in hopes of eventually finding the other end of the string. I am not a patient person, people. This was torture.

I came out of those very frustrating 4-6 hours with nothing more than a large spool of tiny thread, a tiny hook, and a couple of mangled mini-doilies, one of which, oddly, resembled the letter A and would therefore be gifted to the aforementioned grandmother (whose name is Ana) for Christmas. (Ah the serendipitous things life brings to us! I'm a make-lemonade kinda girl.) The others got strewn on the Christmas tree as "decoration" (yet ano ther example of the boundless extents of parental love) and have been, over the years, lost to the foreboding and all-eating attic. Thank GOD.

*End Explanation Regarding my Perceived Suckage of Crocheting*

So, having decided determinedly not to crochet, I made my knitting intentions known to my mother and sister, Carla (a.k.a Caaa the Queenmidge). My sister, the "artistic one," went out and bought me a "teach yourself how to knit" booklet, some cream-colored wool yarn, and a couple of size US7 needles in bright blue. A decent size of needle. Not too small, not too big.

The ability to successfully manipulate these needles in my hands and recognize the stitches I was making was all the encouragement I needed. I dove head first into what became known to everyone close to me as the "never-ending-scarf-capade" (ok, I'm paraphrasing). I made a never-ending scarf in cream for myself (which was too wide and I never used). I made a never-ending scarf in cream for my sister (which I never finished and never gave her). I made a never-ending-do-rag for my mom's dog (Hopi Midgebean I, said in a British Accent) which even the dog wouldn't wear. Then I started making never-ending scarves in navy blue. By that point I didn't even pretend to make them for people anymore. I just made them because I had to. I needed to.

This over the course of two or three years. Then I stopped. And the world sighed a great sigh of relief. Flash ahead Quantum-Leap-style to January 2007 and me sitting alone in a Westminster hotel (which shall remain nameless) on our first week in London. Matt is at work. I'm watching Big Brother and the Shilpa Shetty-Jade Goody saga is unraveling (pun intended) before my eyes. (Incidentally, it was Jade Goody and her name-calling that taught me what a Poppadom is, so I may still have come out on the upside of the losing-brain-cells-while-watching-Big-Brother battle.) I start knitting an afghan - don't ask what possessed me - and give up after about three days of futile efforts. I didn't realize then, but I truly believe upon hindsight that it was peoples' rejections of my creations that was causing them to tend to alternative-proportions and styles.

It wasn't until the summer of 2008 when I found out I was pregnant with Ludovictus (read: an unconditional and non-speaking perma-audience located in my torso who has no taste or sense of proportion yet) that I found someone who could truly appreciate my handy work. And so I embarked on the knitting adventure once more - this time armed with a lovely little book I found at Peter Jones (and a new term in my vocab: Haberdashery!):

Ah, Debbie Bliss - yarn-knotter-artiste-extraordinaire!
Female savior of the knitting persuasion!

Not only did I get her book - I also purchased the loveliest of things: cotton yarn and baby cashmerino yarn, also by Debbie Bliss. Her range, if you haven't seen it, comes in unorthodox but still baby-esque pale tones. They give you a sense of choosing something "other" and yet acceptable by the general public. Her patterns are simple, classic, modern and absolutely British. (And believe me, I really needed to find something British that I loved!) My first project were a pair of these for my favorite (and only) little niece Ava Sophia a.k.a Mimsy:

I successfully completed the 0-3 months pattern which came out the right size for a 2 year old (don't know what happened there). Most importantly they looked just like the ones in the book, and this boosted my knitting ego quite a bit.

My second and current project was a little something for Ludo. I opted for a cardigan (hey, he'll be born in London ok?) in pea green cashmerino. And much to my own surprise, it looks great!

About 90% of the way through this cardigan I joined a local knitting group at a really awesome yarn store down the street in Putney: Stash Yarns. There are a bunch of lovely ladies there who helped me master the finishing touches (seams), and without them I would have been lost. (Ever grateful.) I just have to sew the buttons on and it'll be set to bring the little guy home in! All this success has made me reconsider my ban on crocheting. Maybe if I just get a bigger hook...

* * *

Here are some other lovely hand-knitted things I've received as gifts recently:

This is the sweater Matt came home from the hospital in!
Handmade by his mom 20-something years ago.

This is the sweater my MIL made for our baby.
I'm thinking little-shepherd-boy-cum-Parisian-poet...love it.